Throughout high school and college, I used "success" to keep myself so busy that I didn’t have time to think about my mind. It was my mask: earning straight As, joining every club I could, taking any leadership position offered, playing sports, working, volunteering. All the while, I ignored my depression, anxiety, OCD, and traumas in an abusive relationship. Not only was I scared to tell my story to others, but I was terrified to admit it to myself. I was convinced if I allowed my true self to show, I would be considered “less-than” and I would have to give up on success.

 

I repressed my trauma and hid my suicidal ideations for years, forcing myself to continue being "successful," not only because I wanted to learn and gain experience, but because I didn’t know what would happen if I stopped the overexertion. I thought if I shoved my pain down far enough, I could keep it contained and continue to "succeed."

 

One day, what was behind my mask didn’t want to be hidden anymore. It all came spilling out. I finally shared more with my family and friends, sought counseling, and spent time on self-reflection. I learned empowerment, to stop silencing myself, and that true success requires self-compassion. I found ways to be a voice for others’ needs as well as my own, and I found a passion for advocating for those with mental health conditions. Not every day will be easy. It's hard work to remind yourself that your story deserves to be heard - even if it's just you who hears it. That work gets a lot easier when you let others help you, and I'm here to help.